Co Co Co Cold Cross Country Calamity

Les Duncan

It was a little cold for the Fraser Valley the day that i left, but i knew it was nothing compared to what i was heading into. The Subaru was running pretty damn good compared to what it had been doing of late, but i was starting to believe what others were telling me. Too many times i was told that i was just asking for trouble trying to cross this wonderful country in a car as run down and beat up as the old Subaru, but would i listen? No way. I was well used to running beaters and i have a lot of faith in boxer engines. I am pretty sure that it would have run without a problem if i had not been such a smart ass and decided that i could do a tune up on it before i left. I figured it would like me for giving it some attention to say nothing of the new points plugs, condenser, oil filter, air filter and what the hell, new oil too. Half of me says that i should have listened to myself as i have told so many others in the past, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" and the other half of me says that you can never learn anything about mechanics if you just pay others to do the work for you. Besides you will learn nothing about how your vehicle works and will thereby be helpless if it ever breaks down on you on the road. Like so many other jobs that i have severely underestimated, the two hour tune up took two weeks and almost three hundred dollars in paid mechanic labour, and even then it was still not running as well as it did before i stared messing with it, but what the hell, i learned a whole bunch about Subaru, especially removing and re-installing their carburettors. After trying to solve my problem for three consecutive days, someone came by, listened to it and told me that it was the three dollar condenser that i had installed in the tune up. When i put the old condenser back in, it got rid of half of my problems, and probably would have got rid of all my problems if i had not messed with so many other things in the process of trying to fix it.

My goal the first day was Chilliwack to Calgary, and i made it without a problem, just a little later than i had hoped to. (There is that under-estimating time again) I did not leave as early in the morning as i had wanted, and with the old Boxer not quite running up to par it took longer to climb the mountain passes than it should have and so i arrived in Calgary after eleven o'clock and ended up not getting in touch with either of the people that i had planned to see, to say nothing of getting some floor space to crash out on for the night. I decided i would go straight through and get a cheap hotel on the other side of the city. Ha! I could not find a cheap hotel on the other side of the city, in fact i could not find any hotel on the other side of the city. I kept going knowing that the next town would have a cheap hotel to crash in. It didn't, but i was sure that the next one would. Can you see a pattern forming here? No cheap hotels in any of the small towns heading east, and "the needle and the damage done", left it pointing at E with me looking for fuel in a small town with no open gas stations behind the rolled up sidewalks. Parking beside a couple of truckers at a gas station, and curling up in the front seat with the steering wheel wedged into my stomach i went looking for a couple of hours sleep. I had looked at crawling on top of all of my stuff in the back of the wagon, but deemed that there was not enough room for me there. I do have vague recollections of crawling up there during the night, but still do not know how i did it while still in my sleeping bag. That is where i woke up in the morning, with my cold wet nose (a good sign for a dog) sticking out of the sleeping bag, and a half an inch of ice on the inside of all the windows. I didn't open the windows a crack to let the cold fresh air in because i knew that there would be plenty of fresh air coming in through the holes in the floor. Feeling very much awake, (mostly due to the sub zero temperature) and a little refreshed from a twisted nights semi sleep, i scraped the inside of the windows, filled the tank, got a cup of coffee from the gas station and decided to really put some miles on.

I had an invitation to stay with a friend of a friend in Regina, and knew that it was an easy day's run to that fair city, so full of hope again, and visions of a comfortable couch in a heated house for a night of dreams, I pointed the Subaru's nose east and fed her fuel. There was a steady breeze coming from the north and it found its way through the door handles and little gaps in the weather stripping of the door, so as my left side got consistently colder i shied away from it, crowding over in the bucket seat, closer to the stick shift and my nice warm dog. Back seat driver nothing, it's a wonder i didn't get pulled over for driving from the passenger's seat. About the third time that i pulled over to scrape off the buildup of ice on the inside of the windshield, i decided that maybe i could do something about the heater's unwillingness to share some of its hoarded heat. There is a valve, placed well back from any area that would lend itself to being worked on, tucked in behind all of the controls on the dash, and i knew that if i could just get at it and give it a little tweak, it would open up properly and let the hot water from the block through the system and i could get a small measure of heat from it. With half of me laying outside on the ground, and the other half crammed up under the dash as far as i could sardine my hands into, i got a grip on the valve in question and gave it a crank. I am sure that you can guess the outcome of this one as well. It slipped as i cranked it, putting all forward motion into the firewall in front of me, but not before making sure that there was a small sharp edge in the way of my knuckle. Heat actually started to flow out of the heater, and i am sure that it matched the amount of blood that was flowing from my knuckle. Much like the old gods, old cars require a blood sacrifice in order to work properly, and as any mechanic can tell you, it must be human blood, it must be yours and it must be fresh. Heat, glorious heat came rising out of the defroster and while not enough to actually take of my coat and be comfortable driving, at least it was enough to keep the windows clear for a while. When my eyeballs thawed enough that i could look around instead of only straight ahead into traffic, i noticed that the temperature of the car was well below normal and so pulled over again, crawled under the front of the car and wedged a piece of cardboard in front of the radiator, to block off some of its efficiency. Sure enough the engine temperature came up to normal, and more heat started coming from the defroster, hurrah. It was almost livable inside the vehicle again, and we were off. People have told me that it would have worked earlier if i had put cardboard in the front of the rad, but don't let them kid you, it was the blood sacrifice.

Maybe it was the new sensation of heat that made things too comfortable, i'm not sure, but no matter what it was, i was feeling relaxed, thinking that things were going pretty good and being Saskatchewan where the roads are straight and flat i could relax even more when suddenly i realised that there was something strange on the road ahead of me. Being too relaxed, i centred it between my wheels for a target, but then remembered that the bike was being towed in that track, and had to do a quick change of placement. By then there was not enough room to avoid it completely, and i hit it with my left wheels. It, as things turned, out was a four inch thick piece of wood and the thump of hitting it was solid. Immediately afterwards, a consistent grinding sound came from the rear end and i thought that i had done serious damage to the car. Getting out and checking it showed me that although it was not exactly balmy inside the car, it was a hell of a lot colder outside in the wind than it was inside the vehicle. I jacked up the car, rapidly gaining an appreciation of the warmth that was inside it and pulling the back wheel, found that i had dented the rim enough that it was rubbing inside and so I put the spare on. As for what other damage i had done, that would wait until later to show up. Feeling rather good about the fact that i hadn't done any real damage other than a bent rim, and cursing myself for relaxing enough that i had hit something, we were off again, pointing east and relishing the heat that was being rationed out by the heater. Regina was coming up fast, and so were my hopes of a warm comfortable couch for the night.

I was not disappointed in Regina and many thanks go out to Nick and Carol for a night of pleasant discussions and the positive outlook of a fellow musician. I wish them luck in all they pursue and truly offer my thanks for shelter on the road, and yes, a warm comfortable couch to sleep on. They even allowed my dog to come in to get warm. Again, many thanks.

Day three, Winterpeg the goal, we were off again, looking forward to a day of carefree driving, and really clocking on some miles. Ha ! Some of the sounds that the old Subaru were making had changed, and having had more than a little experience at driving old beaters around, i was constantly paying attention to the sounds she was making, keeping mental notes on the changes, and being pleased that the changes were not engine type sounds. Just after crossing the border into Manitoba, i heard a rather healthy thump from the rear of the car and then something that sounded suspiciously like a ground scrape. With more than a little trepidation i pulled into a small rest area and got out to look at the back of the car to see if i could see the cause of the scrape sound. Seeing it was not the problem. Accepting the reality of what i was seeing is another subject entirely. The back bumper of the car, which was carrying the front forks of the bike, was hanging about an inch from the ground. The section of the frame that the bumper was bolted to was broken and it was evident that i was towing the bike no further. I would say that hitting the piece of wood the day before had actually done the structural damage that caused the break, and a day of driving over small bumps and cracks in the road had worn the structural crack, causing it to sag lower and lower until it had alerted me by actually scraping on the ground and forcing me to look at it. In many ways i was really very happy with the outcome, because if i had not noticed it, there is a good chance that the bumper could have broken right off and left the back of my car, with the Beemer attached to it, causing a major spill of the bike, which incidentally is worth more than ten times the value of the car, perhaps causing enough damage to be a complete right off. I trudged through the rapidly gathering snow to the Rest area and as luck would have it, although it was closed for the season, the doors were open, and i could go inside to warm up and call a tow truck to come and get the bike. The first company i called said that they would have no problem picking up my bike, as they had a flat bed style tow truck and he could be there in about an hour to help me out. Three and a half hours later he arrived apologizing for being late, and explaining that the had to take care of a couple of police calls first. I helped him get the bike off of the specially designed trailer hitch that tows the bike, and got the front wheel back on it. He then got it onto his truck and told me not to worry about anything, he would tow it to his yard, where there is a locked compound and guard dogs etc. and that it would be safe there until spring which was the time that i told him i would make it back to get it. Wishing that i had indoor storage rather than outdoor storage, but realising that beggars can't be choosers i was about to thank the man when he dropped the bottom line. He told me that it could stay there until i could come and get it, and that the tow would be $75.00 and storage would be $3.00 per day. Not believing that i could be hearing him right i asked, "$90.00 per month for outdoor storage ?"

"Well yea," he said, "It is a locked compound."

The bike was already on his truck, and it could not stay where it was in the rest area, so i had no real choice. Pleased i was not, but it would obviously do no good to argue, he had me where he wanted me, so i just smiled and told him that i would get to him as soon as i could and would settle up with him then. It was starting to get dark, snowing harder, and i still had quite a few miles to go to make Winterpeg, so with a heavy heart, knowing that i would have to leave my Beemer in Manitoba, i continued on towards Winterpeg.

Every down has an up and vice versa, so the contact that i had in Winterpeg, was wonderful. Not only did she put me up for three days, as it took me that long to find someone to help me go get my bike off of the highway shark, and feed me, she gave me a winter coat, a couple of books on tape to listen to for the hours of driving ahead of me, and hours of truly enjoyable and enlightening conversation while i stayed with her.

Nick from Regina gave me a contact in Winterpeg who allowed me to store the Beemer in his locked compound for free, because for $90.00 per month i could have got a garage to store it in, so i paid and kissed off the shark and left Winterpeg in a much better state of mind, knowing that even though the bike would be living a long way away from me for the winter, at least it would be safe.

Just outside of Thunder Bay Ont. the Subaru started to put up a fuss, and from there to the Sault ran on what felt like three of its four cylinders. I was low on fuel and pulled into a small cafe gas station only to find out that the pumps were closed for the winter, but it was only a couple of miles further to the nearest station that could sell me fuel. It was snowing harder than i have ever seen it, with trucks down to 50 Km./Hr. and actually driving through 4 to 6 inches of snow on the highway. The Subaru refused to start again after shutting her off, so i went into the cafe to have a coffee and warm up a little. Something in the back of my head kept telling me that the problem was electrical, not gas, so no guts no glory, i pulled off the distributor to see if i could see the problem. Hell if i could pull off its carburettor, twice, i could lift its distributor cap. I am glad that i did because i noticed right away that the point gap was not sufficient, and re-adjusted it. It couldn't live, its eyes were too close together. That fixed the problem, let her re-start, and from there on, she ran great all the way into Hamilton. The last hundred clicks in from Hamilton was a replay of the run from Thunder Bay to the Sault, but i was close enough that i decided the hell with it, she would make the last bit of the run, and forced her to limp in to the farm.

Since then i have worked on her a couple of times and she is now running good enough to drive again i think, so soon i will put her to the test and actually go somewhere, but first i have to talk the farmer across the street into helping me to weld the bumper back on, as it is like a red flag to police and would definitely get me pulled over, and then completely off the road, what with a cracked windshield, no tail pipe and a hanging rear bumper, i am sure they would not let her go two feet further. That will happen soon, and then she will be road worthy again, in the meantime, i am getting used to life on the farm with my parents who now have, 4 dogs (including my dog Fiest) two cats, two Donkeys (not counting myself or my brother as either, but i guess that would be ass, not Donkey) and a pony. Things are going pretty well over all, and i thank all those who requested this update, and wish everyone well, and hope they all have a happy and safe festive season.